Today the Mushroom Clan announces long-awaited news, the official confirmation of its first book in the works. The Clan is currently developing a coffee table book with the intention of blowing minds and no less. Prepare yourself for an in-print journey of epic proportions, one filled with dragons, drugs, and tits. At this point in time the Clan has decided to keep the contents and theme of the expected publication strictly secret. We understand your restlessness after such a vague and mysterious announcement; therefore we have released this single photo as a preview of the madness to come. Coming Fall 2010.
Nate. Dazed n Confused.
Curtis demonstrating what you have to look like to get laid in Cabo
Fletcher took his shirt off on the ride home for some reason?
Yep.. we're definitely in Mexico.
High-Schoolin it out on the curb cause no body was ballin enough to buy drinks inside.
Curtis swiggin in true vacation attire.
Brianna Lacy (left) of Laguna Beach, Calif. has been awarded the oft-desired title of "Honorary Clan Hoe", the highest award possible for a non-male affiliate. We cite as our reasoning this photo of her legs. Sexy Can I? Also notable is Honorary Clan Hoe Samantha Bartley (far right).
The Mushroom Clan proudly welcomes UFC heavyweight champion Phil Acuna to its already flawless roster. Now that we've signed Phil, we're more or less indestructible, so just know that frat boys.
Pabst Blue Ribbon has released an iPhone app allowing users to locate the nearest PBR vendor via the phone's built-in GPS device. In other words, the Lord God has started making cell-phone applications. mush mush.
Please! write and email to this guy and Laguna Beach, CA could finally have it's very own skateboard park. Even if you don't give a fuck about skateboarding there are plenty of good reasons to write an email...
The first reason being the little boy below...
Little Timmy has a bright future ahead of him. Skateboard in hand he's ready to go out and make the world a better place. Looking forward to having some fun at the local skatepark which you helped build. However, should you choose not to sign the petition little Timmy could very well find himself other, less benevolent ways to spend his time. For example, below is a photo of little Timmy several years after you decided not to take 2 minutes out of your extremely essential facebook time to simply sign your name on an email....
If the idea of Timmy becoming a crack fiend wasn't enough for you there is in fact another road Timmy would wander down in the tragic case you should neglect the petition. This case, I should warn you is far worse, and should you decide to sign the petition now, you will save yourself the horror of finding out Timmy's tragic destiny. However, if you are still unwavering in your decision to remain a douchebag and neglect the future of little Timmy the following will happen...
Yes. Little Timmy will become a Asher Roth loving, possibly crack smoking, collar popping, jersey shore idolizing, frat boy. So please, just send the email and save a life.
Every waking minute of every day those of us at the Mushroom Clan are asked by friends and Romans alike a striking question..."Exactly how doth one becometh part of thy Mushroom Clan?"
Well we're sorry to announce that no set standards are in place when considering an individual for Clan membership*. We challenge all those who desire admittance to our prestigious organization to follow the guidance of the Spirit Children inside them and allow none but the gods of Earth and Sky to determine their fate. For as the Greek Stoic and Honorary Clan Member Epictetus once said, "...every man must get to heaven in his own way."
If you find yourself still perplexed and feel a need to truly understand what it takes to be one of the best, here's an example of a successful application for admission we chose in 2004, submitted in portfolio format:
Clan Member Big Rainbow-Maker, formerly Little Blackfoot of the Sioux tribe.
*Membership is restricted to males, a principle based on the longstanding trend of men going out and changing the world on the daily while women have lazily stayed in the home, cleaning and giving birth while failing to contribute to society or significantly alter the course of human history for the better.
When he's not raging, as in, he never, ever rages anymore, you'll find Boulder's own Max Freeman deep in spring training for his upcoming involvement in this summer's Tour de France. Keep up the good work and make gingers round the world proud with your cycling madness.
Creative Genius. Fuck Letterman. Sorry he's not a arrogant fake celebrity.
I don't know how many of you reading this know Sam... But anyways, I met Sam last year living in Salt Lake and the kid couldn't be more of a homie. Amazing on a skateboard and cool as fuck off one too. style for miles. Anyways I just read somewhere that he finally got hooked up by the Chief and will be skating for Mystery these days. Congrats fool.
KASSEL, YOU'VE BEEN SERVED
Jess Kassel, it has come to the attention of the Mushroom Clan that you are in debt with a particular Steve O'Donnell for a total sum of 5.00 US dollars. Assuming you fail to make these payments by the 3rd of March, a late penalty involving the purchase of a complete bambino from Papa Romano's topped with fresh salami, zesty marinara sauce and melted mozzarella cheese will be imposed. The pizza is to be placed in a to-go box and left on the doorstep of the home of Zachary Granowitz and Andrew Egan. If you fail to meet these initial penalties, stark consequences possibly involving beastiality or forced labor will be imposed until your payments are cleared. Jess Kassel, you've been Mushed. This ain't no country club polo match girl!
OoOOo look what I found...
Gnarly Clothing is blowing up...from shore to shore and pole to pole, this shit is droppin hot.
Cuz if ya don't know, now ya know
Honorary Clan-Hoe Samantha (right) just couldn't put down that last shot of McCormick's. Step your game up girl, this ain't Sunday school.
Lago wasn't aloud to go to the closing ceremonies because of some bullshit.. We say fuck the closing ceremonies. Lago is the truth.