KASSEL, YOU'VE BEEN SERVED
Jess Kassel, it has come to the attention of the Mushroom Clan that you are in debt with a particular Steve O'Donnell for a total sum of 5.00 US dollars. Assuming you fail to make these payments by the 3rd of March, a late penalty involving the purchase of a complete bambino from Papa Romano's topped with fresh salami, zesty marinara sauce and melted mozzarella cheese will be imposed. The pizza is to be placed in a to-go box and left on the doorstep of the home of Zachary Granowitz and Andrew Egan. If you fail to meet these initial penalties, stark consequences possibly involving beastiality or forced labor will be imposed until your payments are cleared. Jess Kassel, you've been Mushed. This ain't no country club polo match girl!